Tuesday June 27, 2017

The World According to Jo....

Written by Jo Christiaans
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Jo Christiaans The World


23 June 2014Hi my name is.....what? My name is.......who? My name is Jo Shady. Yeah ok, I'll put down my flat-brimmed, diamontee encrusted trucker cap and stop the white girl rapping. But, in all seriousness, yes it has been quite a few months since my last blog entry and I don't blame you for forgetting my name. But I swear, your honour, there has been a good reason for my absence. I've just finished my eighth court appearance in eighteen months and now preparing for, hopefully, the final hearing in September. What a delight it has been. So I thought the best thing to do was to put down my affidavits and start writing my blog entry.
The TICKS campaignSo what else have I been up to besides re-living a bad episode of Boston Legal in true Groundhog Day style? Well, I spent a couple of days on the set of San Andreas 3D with The Rock and Kylie Minogue last week. A great experience but all too short....... my days on set, not Kylie Minogue. It has sparked the fire within me again to do my stunt training and actually get accredited so I have access to more interesting roles. I added "become a SAP (Stunt Action performer) to my bucket list just above "be a contestant on The Wheel of Fortune, Double Dare and/or Supermarket Sweep".
 One of the highlights of my time on set was definitely having my hair done in the same style as Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games. I know, I know...small things. It definitely gave me the strength to get back up and fall back down again  fifty-something times during the earthquake scene. So, I am going to officially rename it The Sampson  or the WWKND (What Would Katniss Everdeen Do) hairstyle.  
Apart from that, the "Keep Calm and Carry On" campaign for the Department of Fair Trading kicked off yesterday with quite a bit of media coverage. I am proud to be involved in this great community awareness campaign for baby sling safety. I had a great time on set with Abigail Jane and beautiful baby Ruby. What a gem :-) Here is a link to a Channel Seven report on the campaign....http://youtu.be/gips9HXesJA
Abigail, Jayne and Jo Christiaans - Channel 7NewsAikido is still going well. Well on my way to a black belt and a knee operation. I swear, Mr Physio, I am only training twice a week. The tendonosis, yes tendonosis not tendonitis, is nearly gone and the bruised bone marrow, well, I have no idea how to check if that's healed. Unfortunately, the MRI did find a tear in the meniscus but nothing that a band aid and a good lie down won't fix. Ok, that may not have been the exact treatment the specialist recommended but I'm going to go with it.
I've also started training in the Israeli martial art of Krav Maga and loving it. Anyone that's looking for a great work out and practical self defence training then head over to www.kmta.com.au, tell em' Jo sent you. Err...maybe don't, they might charge you more.
Katniss Everdeen From "The Hunger Games"Tomorrow night sees the Scooby Gang heading down to the bright lights of the GC for the Gold Coast Film and TV night at Jupiters Casino. Hopefully the night won't end in a fountain outside the Mayor's office like usual. (I can't wait to replay that scene on my deathbed.) I swear Mum it was an accident.
So that's comms out for the night.
G.I Jo signing off
R.I.P Rowan Hick





    "I divorced my husband for religious reasons......he thought he was God and I didn't."
Firstly, let me start by apologising to my hoards of fans for being slack with my blog lately. (Insert cricket chirps and a stray tumbleweed here). But, wow, what a month!!!  I have now completed four very 'interesting' weeks with my class. I've also spent too much time on a 'character-building' divorce. So if there are any millionaires out there who would like to fund my legal battles and my winter-dress shopping campaign, please apply below. Must have own car.  
 So what else have I been up to? Well Aikido is going well. I passed my first two gradings. So now I am officially an 8th Kyu white-belter. For people who have no idea what that means, the appropriate reaction to that rank is to laugh. (Well, the 8 year olds who are ranked higher than me did) But, I'm on track to get my Brown Belt by next January. All this "self-defence" is taking its toll on my body though.

I have two MRI's scheduled this week for my knees which haven't coped with the take-downs and throws. Because I don't have the strength of the other guys at my dojo, my sensei is pairing me with big 100kg partners to force me to get my technique right and not rely on my limited strength.
I put my back out yesterday throwing a 300kg Russian and had a massage from Satan himself today to fix it. I can't be sure, but I have a good feeling my spine is now embedded somewhere in my lungs. But loving every minute I spend with my Aikido brothers.

As far as acting goes, I filmed an ad for Capilano honey yesterday which was a barrel of laughs thanks to the crazy Caulfield kids and Jarrod Rooke (not sure of Jarrod's role there, perhaps he won a competition to spend a day on-set when he collected 10 Twisties wrappers).
  Jo Capilano advertisment
The two articles in The Satellite and The Quest newspaper were published and The Hornet and I even made the front page.
Jo And Jeff in Quest   So until next time, keep living life in the front row!
Comms Over or Out..... can't remember.
Jo AKA Hollywood


Life Movie this week.   " You only live once, but if you do it right, once is all you need." - Someone awesome.
Jo Life Movie   I added another scene to my Life Movie this week.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about when I say 'Life Movie', I point you in the direction of my first blog entry all those weeks ago.
If scrolling down isn't something you like to do in your leisure time then I will give you a quick run-down. In twenty-five words or less, your Life Movie is the film that flashes before your eyes on your death bed. It's made up of all the interesting moments in your life; the funny, the exhilarating, the amazing and all the memorable moments in-between. And yes, even the sad, traumatic and challenging times. We need all moments from life's spectrum to create the peaks and troughs that all successful films have. (Ok, that was possibly more than 25 words, my bad!).
So, what was so memorable this week that it made it into my Life Movie? Well, it all happened Wednesday.

It started off like any normal day until I was strapped to an empty box of tissues containing 10 ping pong balls and required to krump like Beyoncé until the box was empty.........all while my friends sung loudly, "All the Single Now Women".
  Jo Life Movie
Oh and yes it was filmed and yes it is doing the rounds on Facebook. Thank you Mark Zuckerberg for inventing such a flawless system for efficiently embarrassing people. If you aren't sure what krumping is, click this link to see how the professionals do it...."
Array Dance Demo Krump   This is definitely not what I looked like though. If you want to see what I DID look like just Google 'spasming kangaroo'.
Now, although my friends and I are a bit on the crazy side, there was actually a purpose to the krumping and other weird activities on Wednesday. The shenanigans were part of a team building day I participated in as part of my job as a part-time teacher.  I have never laughed so hard in my life as my co-workers swung bananas between their legs, ate Tim Tams with Vegemite and participated in many other unmentionable activities. They say that laughing for 15 minutes burns 30 calories, well I think I burnt close to 500 that day. These are the moments that make life amazing!
I finished the day doing an interview for The Quest newspaper with my co-worker and Olympic boxer Jeff 'The Hornet' Horn. Thursday saw a less entertaining day with Educational Professional Development and another interview for The Satellite newspaper.
That's it for this week. Next week will be a very busy time as I do my first Aikido grading and start the new school year. I was informed by one my friends last week that I ended my last blog incorrectly. Apparently, when completing 'comms' the correct final term is 'out'.  Here I was thinking I was writing an online blog not an encrypted message for the SAS, but maybe I was wrong. So in order to keep my ex-army, ex-SAS, ex-marine, ex-girl guide, whatever you are, happy, I will sign off correctly.
This is G.I Jo signing off for the week.

Both Jo and Jeff appeared in The Satellite newspaper here: - Ed

Teachers’ exciting double lives

'Teachers’ exciting double lives'


12 Jan 2014   'A Samurai's underwear should be made from the skin of a badger. This way he will not get lice. In a long campaign, lice are troublesome.'
Jo Aikido   This quote, along with many other useful quotes, can be found in the 'Seventeenth Century Samurai Handbook' or as I found it, in a book called "Angry White Pyjamas" by Robert Twigger.

This book was given to me by my Sensei (teacher) after my third Aikido lesson via the ancient Japanese communication method of the USB stick. It wasn't compulsory reading, but the title made me a little curious as to what it was about.

So after two solid days of Pringles and Coke Zero (essential diet of a Samurai/Aikido warrior) I read it from start to finish. It detailed the trials and thoughts of Robert Twigger, a British poet who undertook the harsh and sometimes deadly Aikido Japanese riot-police course.

Although my Aikido training is not to this level, I am writing this blog with barely any skin left on the balls of my feet, bruised wrists and forearms and burns on my elbows and knees. All of which are gaining me a lot of sympathy on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Google+ and Eharmony. Thank you training partners and Eugene, 31, from Toowoomba.
One of my goals for this year was to earn my brown belt in Aikido and next year my black belt. For those who aren't familiar with it, Aikido is a Japanese martial art that derives its moves from the ancient Samurais and uses locks, holds, throws and the opponents movements for self-defence.

In the near future I would like to make a feature film with a strong female lead in the Action genre. In order to prepare, I decided to start training at the local Aikido Dojo and then to do more specific training in screen fighting. I fell in love with Aikido from my first lesson and recommend it for anyone wanting to learn self-defence or study a very disciplined martial art. BTW, it's the fighting style of Steven Seagal. Winning!
So where does my acting fit in to my grueling Aikido timetable? Well, I found a few minutes yesterday to hobble to an audition for a commercial (I can't mention the name at this stage). Hopefully, I will hit the ground running in 2014 and land my first audition for the year. So please cross your fingers for me, as there's a good chance mine are broken.
Over and out,



01 Jan 2014   We all have a death movie. A movie that plays before our eyes on our deathbed. It's made up of important images and scenes from our life.
 We all have a death movie  
"His life flashed before his eyes like a movie."

You know what I'm talking about, right? Good, bear with me, there's a method to my madness I promise. It's this death movie that should drive us. It should push us to live each and every moment and find something special each and every day to add to our death movie.

No one wants to get to the end of their life and see scene after scene of themselves sitting on the couch in their tracksuit pants eating Pringles. They want to see love, excitement, adventure.
So with this in the back of my mind I enter 2014. Instead of calling it my death movie though, I'm going to call it my life movie. I would love for you to come along on this journey with me as I create scenes for my life movie. My life, at times, can be hectic and stressful but always fun and blog-able.

So strap yourselves in, sit back and enjoy the ride.

My name is Jo Christiaans and I'm an Australian actress, teacher, mum, Aikido newbie and ex-wife. Welcome to my blog.

A Chat With Australian Actress Jo Christiaans

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